Poor Melisse, my vocal instructor.
She seriously has her worked cut out for her but she works hard and expects me to work even harder. I could do more to practice aside from car-oake I do to and from locales – I don’t know what else I can do.
Well if that isn’t a ball face lie I don’t know what else is – I could practice at home. At least an hour a day. Even a half hour a day of going up and down a scale or two to stretch my vocal cords (outside of Katy Perry’s “Roar”) would be useful. I don’t know why I don’t other than sheer laziness – I could be doing it even right now as I write this (I’m not, don’t think because I said that I am presently).
She’s helping me see things (maybe hear would be the better word) differently. I actually sing so that I sound good in my head, not necessarily for my audience. I don’t sound terrible to them but I sound breathy and I lack good breath control, as most belters. Which I never actually considered myself but let me tell you – that girl brings it out of me. I have some sound, somewhere deep inside my diaphragm, that I had no idea existed in my capabilities. It’s good that she’s challenging the way I thought of myself as a singer. I had no idea what I was truly capable of doing and now I know that I have the strength and potential fortitude to sing in a show, excluding being cast in the ensemble.
I heard myself for the first time in years and I was shocked. This post is starting to sound very me, me, me and I, I, I but that’s kind of the point – you have to hear yourself how other people are going to hear you just like in acting how they’re going to see you. You don’t act for your mind, you act (and sing) for an audience. They’re the ones who matter, that’s who the director cares about – and to an extent, they care about the actor/singer, too, but honestly – we’re replaceable. I am using the plural in this case because I fall into that bucket, I am not excluding myself from being replaceable.
Lessons with Melisse have taught me to distrust, to an extent, my past teachings – not just vocally but also acting. Previously it was very much about *my* experience on stage, it wasn’t about what the audience experienced. I couldn’t be more thankful for this realization, it’s only going to improve my on stage presence and those of my actors, ’til next time.