Amalgamation of Life, Director

Panic mode activated

  • Don’t panic (this will remain on the docket probably for all time)

How do I manage to get myself into this feeling(s)? Well let me tell you how I am planning on avoiding these feelings in 2018 – and not just by avoiding all general feelings next year.

I didn’t start this year off too well. I began by ignoring my feelings to focus on running (which, I’ll tell you in a different post why that didn’t work out). Once that was over, I was kind of forced to face them on multiple levels.

  1. My direction and show, have you heard?, was selected for the 2018-2019 season. I can officially no longer procrastinate on preparation, from auditions to performance. What’s nice is that my show closes out the season, auditions aren’t for another year (360 days, to be exact), and I have a pretty amazing, supportive team of strong women (including my mom!) around me.
  2. Graduate school was stressful right before my vacation at the end of February. I had the classic group project issue – someone wasn’t pulling their weight. My other peer and I decided to remove him from the paper and, per the teacher, allowed him to continue with presenting alongside of us. It was one of the most begrudging moments of my life. We got the worst grade (a 36 out of 40) of the class but it was still an A and it’s over with now. Thankfully.
  3. The balancing act between four, simultaneously shows was beginning to get to me. No breaks, no nights off, and very few relaxing moments with friends or family. Now with three shows under my belt and a few others spaced out, further down the pipeline – it is a much easier time in my life.

So, why do I still feel these things? I’ll tell you why – I haven’t stopped to really appreciate the things I learned in those moments. I’m going to take them one at a time.

  1. I am directing a show! One of my personal goals for the year has been accomplished and I am incredibly excited. On top of all that, I get to work with some of my favorite people. People who have already provided me with great ideas, been super supportive, general information and believed in me & my capabilities. I have things to think about but the work can be spread out among my talented staff. And that, is a huge relief.
  2. I recently received bad, but relieving, news from my employer. They are presently paying for one of my degrees and I recently requested to enroll in a secondary, side-by-side program which.. they denied. I was hurt, shocked, but relieved. Fortunately relieved. I am closer to attaining the next level in my educational career and until I am ready for the next role in my professional career, I don’t have to worry about school for much longer.
  3. My mom constantly asks me if I am overbooking myself or if I need a break (read: learn how to say no) because it’s hard going to rehearsal five days a week with some shows in performance weekends and prepping for the next show, etc. That’s a bit of a rambling sentence because it’s a bit of a rambling scenario. One show right after another, multiple rehearsal schedules – I’m finally feeling a bit of a reprieve. And once this season is over, I’m going to be a bit more strategic with my show involvement in the upcoming season.

There’s a post that’s coming up. So, in summary, it’s easy to be negative about how life is turning up but it’s even easier to see how you can positively spin those happenings for your own personal benefit. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings and the small preview of what I think could be some interesting, in depth blog posts in the near future. ‘Til next time.

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