It is never okay.
But what to do when it does happen?
I am one of those head first individuals. This post is not a recommendation to do as I do, but maybe next time it inspires you to stop someone else from being a jackass. Or, it’ll stop you from being a jackass if you recognize any of the traits I describe below.
I am the first to position myself between the wounded and the wounder, a bully of bullies if we will. I don’t take this kind of disrespect lying down; not towards me, my family, or my friends. Not even for people I don’t like, so you can probably imagine and surmise how much something like this bothers me.
I don’t care if you don’t like someone. Do you have a legitimate reason? Great.
Let it go.
Almost every one involved in community probably has some type of professional involvement (work, job, career, etc.) full time and do this only for fun. You maybe vice versa and fortunate not to have to work to support your hobby, but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be objectionably rude or inconsiderate towards your cast mates or production staff. Because you may have a lead role or listed as ensemble, community theatre isn’t always pleasant–for you or for others.
Community theatre is rooted in being a safe haven for individuals who otherwise feel that they do not belong–do not pursue the track that makes others an outsider in a production. Each of us have our own lives to live and it’s important to be respectful of the human beings and inherent right to live our lives the way we feel best (personal opinion: as long as we do not harm ourselves or others). Remember this the next time you’re at work, in a meeting, with friends or on stage with a crew–don’t be the jackass.
I would like to let you know, and I am happy to be up front about this, but I wasn’t always this way. I slip. I’m human. Some people I don’t know what I’ll do if they apply for my show and they’re damn good cause I know they’re talented. Do I not cast them because we’ve had words, or that I have ill feelings towards them? I don’t know. I think I’ll let time decide for me… and maybe a little bit of my producer and music director.
‘Til next time.